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|"Love and Marriage"|
|Episode no.||Season 3|
|Directed by||Lee Philips|
|Written by||Arthur Julian|
|Original air date||February 18, 1975|
Hawkeye and Trapper John play matchmaker while performing required examinations of soldiers who are asking permission to marry locals. They help a soldier reunite with his pregnant Korean wife, and attempt to stop a young soldier from marrying a tuberculosis-infected prostitute so she can be sent to the United States to find new customers.
This article's plot summary may be too long or excessively detailed. (March 2012)
Everyone is in the OR working on wounded, and the usual arguing is going on. However, Frank continuously insults Mr. Kwang, the new orderly who fumbles a bit with the instruments. After the shift is over and the guys are washing up, Kwang apologizes for messing up, but Frank still lectures him. Trapper and Hawkeye defend Kwang and get in another jab at Frank.
Outside the OR, Trapper and Hawkeye invite Kwang to the swamp for a drink. After the doctors observes that Kwang speaks English very well, the Korean explains that he studied at the University of Seoul when the war broke out. Soon after that he was "recruited" by being thrown into a truck and sent to a surgical clinic. Soon after that he was transferred to the 4077th.
Kwang is happy to be at this MASH, but before he was transferred, he was unable to say goodbye to his wife. Hawkeye and Trapper promise that they will find him a 3-day pass so that he can see his wife.
Later, Trapper and Hawkeye are giving marriage physicals to soldiers and their prospective wives. Off to the side, Hawkeye promises Radar a new book on reproduction should the corporal be able to get that 3-day pass for Mr. Kwang. Radar tricks Henry into signing the pass, mainly because Henry is distracted by a persistent, but non-English speaking local who keeps asking for teeth.
Back in the exam room, Danny McShane comes in with his fiance, Soong-hi, whom the doctors recognize as an older prostitute from Rosie's Bar. After a brief discussion, Trapper and Hawkeye take McShane into the hall and ask him about his betrothed. McShane claims that Soong-hi is only 21 years old and that they "really love each other." After more persuading, McShane agrees to wait two weeks before going through with the marriage.
Later that night in the Swamp, Henry, Trapper, Hawkeye, Radar, and Staff Sergeant Zelmo Zale are playing poker. In this hand, Henry tries to win with a flush, only among his hearts is one diamond, so the pot goes to Hawkeye. Zale complains that officers get more of everything, including bigger pots in poker and more nurses. Radar points out that enlisted men don't even have the right to fall in love. Of course, he's referring to McShane, and makes a pretty good case for the sergeant.
While Trapper and Hawkeye consider butting out of the conflict, the men hear a ruckus outside, and eventually a gunshot. Henry tries to send Radar out to investigate, but Frank, the Officer of the Day, walks in with what he claims is a forged 3-day pass. Henry agrees that he didn't sign the paper, but Radar points out that it is indeed Henry's signature on the paper. Regardless, Frank is pretty miffed and threatens to charge Mr. Kwang with desertion because even after Frank tried to stop him Kwang ran away. Then, Frank fired his gun.
The next day, Hawkeye and Trapper are in the exam room when Radar comes in to tell them that someone is in the Swamp asking to see them. Once the guys get to their tent, they see Mr. Pak, who is apparently a successful but somewhat dishonest merchant. Pak is there to offer each of the doctors $250 if they will ok McShane and Soong-hi's marriage. He explains that if the two of them get married, then Soong-hi can go to the United States where she will work for some friends of his, "Night work," Trapper explains. Pak also points out that McShane is perfectly aware of the circumstances of his marriage, and noticeably angry, Trapper and Hawkeye run Pak out of the Swamp.
Just then, the doctors come upon Kwang who is escorted by two MPs. He explains that he was trying to get back to his village because his wife is about ready to give birth to their first child. Trapper and Hawkeye take the matter to Henry, who refuses to let Kwang go because he doesn't want to get in any more trouble, as people have been turning in reports on him. Henry gives in a little and says that he can drop the charges of desertion, but he still can't let Kwang leave the camp. He does, however allow Radar and Hawkeye to go to the village and pick up Mrs. Kwang and bring her back to the camp.
The two of them leave on the bus, and later, when Trapper is in the Swamp, McShane stops by for a visit. Trapper explains that he asked McShane over so that he could congratulate McShane on his upcoming wedding. However, Trapper has something else to share, that is, Soong-hi has tuberculosis, eliminating any chance of her being shipped stateside with an infectious disease. McShane looks at the x-ray and leaves quickly.
Meanwhile, Radar and Hawkeye have managed to pick up Mrs. Kwang, and are riding back to the camp. It's a little too late, however, because Mrs. Kwang goes into labor. Radar flips and panics, while Hawkeye gets ready to help deliver the baby.
When the boys get back to camp, they present a healthy son to Mr. Kwang, who names his child after Radar, Trapper, Hawkeye, and Henry.
- Alan Alda as Cpt. Hawkeye Pierce
- Wayne Rogers as Cpt. Trapper John McIntyre
- McLean Stevenson as Lt. Col. Henry Blake
- Loretta Swit as Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan
- Larry Linville as Maj. Frank Burns
- Gary Burghoff as Cpl. Radar O'Reilly
- William Christopher as Father Mulcahy
- Jamie Farr as Maxwell Klinger
- Dennis Dugan as Danny McShane
- Jerry Fujikawa as Dr. Pak
- Robert Gruber as Sergeant
- Johnny Haymer as Sgt. Zelmo Zale
- Jeanne Joe as Mrs. Kwang
- Pat Li as Soong Hi
- Soon-Tek Oh as Mr. Kwang